There comes a time in your life when you finally get it …

Posted: 31 Aug 2010 06:20 PM PDT

By Sonny Carroll

You learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to.

So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations.

You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations.

And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.”

Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know – Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

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